This past week has seen a lot of change. I finished a big race, started my off season and moved a few hours away.
Right now, as I sit here on Friday night in my new apartment (which is like a tiny home and I love it!), the snow is falling thickly outside, I am drinking tea and the anxiety I had all afternoon has lifted.
Off season gets me.
When I finished those miles last Saturday, I felt like I had given it my all and was ready to let my body heal and enjoy the holiday season. The first few days of this are easy and great, especially when I have something to focus on (like moving).
Today, I finished my last big carload, put up decorations and organized everything. I am really happy with how it looks, but also sad that now I have nothing to hold my attention until I begin my job on Monday.
It’s snowing out so although I did venture out into the city of Syracuse once today, going out there now would be foolish and I would most likely spend money I should save.
I miss running, but at the same time, I enjoy not elevating my heart rate past laughing really hard. I miss the high after a great run, I miss the sweat, heck, I miss the iPod that went missing at the race! At the same time, I know that a week is not sufficient enough to repair both physically and mentally from a long season.
A season that was supposed to end two months ago, but didn’t when I discovered I liked going long.
I know my body and mind need more time and that is clear as I got tired soon after lunch today and all I want to do with myself is read.
READ ACTUAL BOOKS!
While I’m doing other things, I think about the great book I will read when I am done.
Yup, that’s my Friday night (I was going to go out, seriously, but it’s really coming down out there!) and although it’s different for me, I’m learning to accept it and enjoy it.
I may not be training, but I still get tired early and still wake up when the sun comes up.
I am in this weird zone right now.
It’s like, a state of emotionless acceptance of my state of being. (<—that took me a full 5 minutes to think of)
I have a theory that my body is still recovering (obviously) and it doesn’t want to do anything to freak itself out and hinder the healing process. Therefore I do not feel emotion very intensely right now. I do not get super excited or super angry about anything. I smile and laugh and some things make me sad, but I do not attach much feeling to this. It’s like my body doesn’t want to share it’s energy with anyone else.
Energy is contagious after all. If my body wants to conserve it, it certainly isn’t sharing with anyone else.
Part of my nonchalance also has to be due to the change in weather. The second day of my new life in Syracuse we got dumped on with snow, so it’s not exactly motivating to go out and hang. I’d simply rather just curl up with my book and live through the characters as they did not run 50 miles last week and have the energy to be excited or angry.
I am excited to start work on Monday and I love living in my tiny house, it will be a great adventure.
Peace. Shalom. Happy Holidays.