This will most likely be my last post until we return from vacation. I am feeling a lot better this morning than the past few days. I think it helps that I slept last night.
I don’t know why, but the tiredness has really done a number on my self-esteem regarding the race. I just felt unfit the past few days. Not ready to perform. Tired.
I know I will have time to rest and relax before the race. Thankfully I slept yesterday and woke up feeling much better, but I need much more of that before the race in order to enjoy it and try my best.
I am not in PR shape, but I do want to try hard and give it my best shot. Getting to the starting line rested is the only way I can make an attempt to compete.
I think that wearing tired and busyness as a badge of honor is toxic. I do not do this, but I cannot lie, when I get all my shit done while exhausted I do feel accomplished. However, then these feelings, the ones I’ve had the past few days, make me doubt myself and my abilities. The tiredness masks reality in a way. It makes me think I can continue not resting enough and get by.
I don’t want to get by. I want to be happy, alert, present and enjoy my life. I want to give myself the chance to put something on the line and perform well. Getting by just doesn’t cut it for me. It never will.
I am ready for a bit of a break from the daily grind. I love my job and coworkers, but I want to spend some time with my sister and her boyfriend. I want a change in scenery and a change in the routine. I want to sit in the back of a truck, relaxing and talking. I want to leave tomorrow for TX and have a great time.
I am leaving the van at my parent’s house, and my dad is “inspecting” it as he calls it. That’s kind of him, maybe he’ll take her on a joy ride. It’d be good for the both of them.
We are taking my sister’s boyfriend’s truck and staying at an AirBNB in Texas called Billy’s Backyard Barn. I cannot wait for this! It seems so southern hahaha.
We have no set route or plans. We’re going to stop along the way. We’ve given ourselves three days to get there, a few days there and then a few days to drive back. It’s really relaxed, but we will stop whenever each of us wants to stop.
I plan to get some serious reading done, which reminds me to go to the library today and get book 6 in the series I’m reading.
I plan to come back tan or burned. I don’t care I want sun. All the sun. All the time.
I’m ready to go. I hope Texas is ready for us 🙂
Breakfast: oatmeal and PB
Running: 36 minutes