Sometimes, I forget that I am 25 years old.
Really, my coworker asked me the other day and I said 26. Then I corrected myself…three hours later.
I forget that I am relatively new to things, like running, like living on my own, like managing a business. Even though I feel competent in these areas, in the grand scheme of things, I have a long way to go.
That revelation has been the crucial thing that has provided respite this past week. I have a slight injury in my shin that has prevented me from running and makes my racing plans for the year unsolidifiable. I can’t really make concrete plans when I am not engaging in the activity.
I was really depressed about this last week. (Side note, it’s only been just over a week that I haven’t ran, so it’s not like it’s been that long) I thought my life was over. I felt like I was letting people down. People who believe in me, help me in my training and want to see me do well. I felt like I was letting myself down. I was really fit. I was ready to crush something. This injury was sustained basically at my job.
Stress in life combined with training stress built up and manifested in my shin.
At least it’s not a heart attack am I right?
Anyway, I was really sad because I want running to be my life. I see my friends and other runners doing so well and it’s incredible. I want that to be me!
But it’s not. Those runners are different. Those runners have a greater training age (ran in college and high school etc). Those runners are not me.
I am only capable of what my body can do. Right now my body is coping with a major life change. I moved, I changed jobs, I have a lot more responsibility in that job, I am in school, my new city is different and learning the roads is difficult. There is a lot on my mind!
I have had to accept my limits right now. I will run again when my leg feels better. I am blessed I can still walk, cross train and do most everything. Honestly, I haven’t tried running because I can feel my shin when I move in certain ways. I’m not going to rush into it because I don’t want anything worse to happen. When I can, I’ll run.
I have so many good years of running ahead of me. I am 25 years old. My training age is 4.
I have time. I love running. That will keep me coming back. Fast or slow. Road or trail.
Good things take time. I’ll wait.