Whenever I get done with a race, I always think the next week will be relaxing and I’ll have so much more time because I’m not spending 2-3 hours a day training.
I don’t think that has ever happened. But I tell myself it will each race. Maybe the next one eh?
So much has happened in the past few days I don’t really know where to start. For the sake of privacy, I’ll stick to myself and not venture too far off to other people in my life.
The biggest thing that’s happened is I have rented an apartment, and moved in Tuesday morning. It happened rather fast. I talked to my dad about the van, how it’s going and randomly looked at apartments just in case something were to happen to the van. This was on Sunday.
That night I got terrible news, didn’t sleep, and spent the whole night thinking about the past 7 months, and how I could be a better family member at this point.
That morning, I contacted an apartment complex I had rented from in the past, went to check a few rooms out figuring a possible move in that August if I still felt compelled to do so.
They had one I could move into immediately, great price, so I took it.
Yup, right then.
I moved the next day, and have been there for the past few nights.
I miss my van. I loved van life, so I will still do it using my van as a camper for training runs and races and the occasional camp. However, with the dynamic the way it is in my life, having an apartment is a wise choice.
Without getting too specific, I am fine, my van is fine besides the dent in the back I am getting fixed this week and my family is ok. I do not feel like I have given up or failed at living in a van. On the contrary, I feel like living in a van for 7 months during the winter and figuring shit out is a huge accomplishment. I set out to do what I planned, I can live in a van, I got rid of stuff I don’t need, I learn how to survive.
It was a truly great experience and one I will likely repeat in the future.
However, I choose to have an apartment right now to provide a safe space for myself and family members if they need it. Additionally, with the things going on, my parents have enough to worry about without my living on the street. I have never felt unsafe, but I know they worry.
I still have my camper with me, I still drive it, it is still race and camping ready. I kept my pee bottle.
This was a decision I felt right about, even though I have tried to live a minimalist lifestyle and be more environmentally conscious. I will continue to pursue these things while apartment living. I rented the smallest apartment I could, I share a kitchen and a bathroom. I have one bowl, one spoon, one plate etc. I will wear the same clothes and use the same things.
I still use my sleeping bag on my bed (though my mom said I could have some sheets of their’s if I choose).
I kept most of my appliances in storage, so I will get a pot and a pan, my slow cooker and waffle iron, blender etc. The past few days I’ve been using a community pan when I need it. I will also donate my things to the community kitchen. Why not share?
The first night was weird. Sleeping in a large bed. Going to the bathroom simply. Standing upright. It’s nice not going to lie, but also something I could live without. I proved that to myself.
I enjoy it. I enjoy electricity, a fridge, shelves, standing up.
I enjoy that the past two mornings I’ve made pancakes and not burned them. I missed cooking, I cannot wait to do that again.
I loved van life, but this life, my ever evolving life, finds me in an apartment again.
Onto the next adventure.