“How are you?” is a question I get asked a lot. I ask it a lot myself. That’s part of customer service. The overwhelming answer I hear, and one I give myself, is “I’m fine”.
Usually I think that’s true. In this moment, I am not in present danger, I am working a job I like, I have a pretty good life. Fine is a perfectly acceptable and true answer.
When I ask how someone is, and a I truly care, I’ve started to reframe how I do that. I’ve started asking “How is your life?” Or “Are you happy?”
Those questions probe deeper and I actually care on a deeper level about the answers.
This past weekend and few days, I asked myself those questions.
Am I happy? How is my life?
I had a rougher weekend on some fronts, which made me sad. Actually, I numbed out for a while. I just wasn’t ready to cope with what I knew it meant. What I wanted it to me. Not because it would make my life harder or worse, but how it might affect other people.
Of course, this might all be projection and all parties will end up better off and happy. However, hard decisions were made, and it was unsettling for a while. During my numbing out process, what ultimately helped me make a decision was asking, Am I happy? How is my life?
Yes. I am happy. My life is good.
Can I move on from this in a direction that will still make me happy? Will the decision I make improve my life?
Yes and yes.
Answering those two questions made it obviously clear what the next step is and my path forward.
My life is not changing in a significant way. I will still be happy regardless, I’ve learned I am more than this one facet of my life.
I am happy. I am fine. Life is good.