This will be my last post before my race on Sunday. In order to not go completely insane, it think a mind dump is in order here.
I’ve learned so much in the past six months and wrote about it here.
That’s not what I want to talk about today. Today I just want to bare it all.
To be honest, I’m not as anxious as I predicted I would be. I get anxiety a lot actually, but I’m good at holding it in and coping. I know what to do when I get anxiety. As of right now, I only feel one thing:
I just want to get out there and run!
My runs this week have felt fine. Nothing good or bad. I think that is a sign that I want to race. I want to run 26.2 miles in one go, cross the finish line and smile.
I have a time goal, sure. But I think what I keep remembering is that this is my first marathon. I am not putting as much pressure on myself as I used to. I feel relaxed about this. I know I am only 24, and have many running years left. Nothing rests on this.
I also have decided that it’s ok if I do not like this race and choose not to do another one. It is ok if I decide that my favorite distance is something shorter (or longer and slower). I have freed myself from needing to be a marathoner. I can be a one and done person.
My plans for this race are to enter the pain cave, but manage it. My friend and SHVP teammate said this of the marathon:
“It’s like, the longest distance where you have to go fast.”
I agree with this. I will have to push for 26.2 miles and hope it doesn’t go to shit. There are a lot of opportunities for it go to hell. There will be low points, high points and mental battles. I know I can physically run the distance and I feel confident and mentally strong. However, that does not guarantee success. I will have to race longer than I ever have before.
Shit show or not, it will be epic.
I have fears (not practicing nutrition enough), doubts (why am I entering the elite field again?) and just general worries (what if I get lost?). But what keeps me from going down those rabbit holes is the confidence I have in what the past 6 months have showed me and the wise words from my running mentors about my chances.
I’m not going for any other reason than to finish 26.2 miles with a smile.
Let’s talk post race. I’m already getting emails from fast women in my community about XC season or other races. I have decided to put all those thoughts on the back burner.
I am not ready to think about after the race. Regardless of how it goes, I am taking a 1-2 week break from exercise and my pretty good nutrition plan. Even if I end up only jogging or don’t feel tired, I need this mental break. I have been focused on this goal for 6 months (plus all the base building beforehand). I tuned my diet in, I slept as much as I could, I prioritized recovery, I ran hard. I need the time off.
Then and only during those weeks after will I even think about what’s next. I will not entertain too much thinking about this or commit to anything before I am done with the goal at hand. Running will be there after the two weeks.
So that’s what I’ve got today guys. That’s it. I’m ready. I’m going to do it.What do you think about 3 days before a race? Read my pre-marathon mind dump here! #vegan #runner #marathon Click To Tweet
No questions. Thanks for reading!