Feeling flabby and a mother’s love

Yesterday I had one of those days where I just didn’t feel great in my body. I felt sluggish, slow and to be honest, kind of flabby.

All in all I had a good day. I worked my last opening Sunday shift at CTB, went to Agava and got some content, it was a low key day. However I had this underlying feeling of “ugh” about myself most of the day.

You know what catalyzed it? I think I wore my belt too tight! Yup, that’s it. I wore my belt one rung too tight, which made me feel like my pants were too tight and I was a bit uncomfortable. As soon as I undid the belt, I felt better, but the consciousness of the flab feeling was there.

Then I went grocery shopping for things I don’t need and somehow ended up with 4 types of vegan cheese. Normally I would be really happy (and I am today!!!) but last night I started to get down on myself. This is why I’m not as good as (x athlete)! It’s because my diet is shit. I really should clean it up if I want to get to the next level blah blah blah.

The thing is, that may be true, but that’s not the kind of person or runner I am. I am not too obsessive about what kinds of food I eat. I purposely try to expand and eat whatever as long as it’s vegan. I make sure I get what I need for calories and micronutrients, but then I have room to play, which I do.

I called my mom to talk to her about it (something I would have never done in past years). And rather than brushing me off saying “oh you’re so thin your fine, stop being selfish and inconsiderate”, she validated my feelings. She said it’s the end of the winter, our bodies are still in hibernation mode and in search of sunlight. Once the spring comes, we spend more time outside and feel better.

I love my mom, she knew just the right thing to say.

She’s right. It’s the end of the dark ages here, spring is coming. Sun is coming. I’ll feel like myself again soon.

Breakfast: birthday cake oatmeal with banana, pumpkin seeds and cashews

Running: 74 minutes

11 thoughts on “Feeling flabby and a mother’s love”

  1. Aren’t moms just the greatest? I did something really similar last week. I was feeling really weighed down last week by so many things and called my mom who is caring for my grandma right now. I was trying not to dump on her, but I think my heavy heart kind of came across on the phone. And she just stopped and prayed for me which was sooo sweet.

    I LOVE what your mom said, and what she said is so true! Ellie I LOVE the food freedom you have, and it’s seriously so amazing to see how you’ve come so far!

      1. Sometimes we don’t feel great in our bodies. That’s not always our minds deceiving us. And these feelings can stem from so many things… hormones, stress, etc, or in your case, some winter blues and a too-tight belt. 🙂 What matters is how we handle these feelings. You wrote it out, called your mom for support, and then MOVED ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Bam. I think the way you handled it is inspiring and so is your honesty. Thank you for sharing, Ellie.

  2. I feel your pain Ellie. I just started having some pain in the back of my leg so I am scaling back this week from running and I am DEFINITELY feel fluffy myself. I am so glad that I have friends and family that will let me vent and love me just where I am at. No need for comments on my size or whether people think I need to be heavier. I appreciate your openness.

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