The first three weeks of training are in the books. I progressively added mileage each week and had some good workouts.
I’d have to say, hill repeats are the hardest thing I do. It’s mentally taxing because the effort increases, but the speed either stays the same or decreases. I am always both humbled and exhilarated after a hill workout.
My past week or running topped at 78 miles. That is a lot for me personally. Many other ultrarunners get into the triple digit miles during peak training. My mileage will not exceed 100, or even close really, during this training.
I want to process the beginning of the week, because I hit a low point mentally on Monday. I was still feeling a bit down about my almost bonk on Friday, so my emotions were fragile and doubting my fitness. Then I got news about a friend’s AMAZING marathon in which she crushed her previous PR. I was very happy for her, but then the green-eyed monster hit me pretty hard.
I have run races very close to this person last year. We have trained together. She is an amazing runner and works very hard. She deserved this.
I began to doubt myself and subsequently fall into a depressed mood. Thoughts about my season and what I was doing challenged what I know about myself.
“What if I focused on marathon training in the past season? I could be that fast now!”
“What am I doing wrong?! Why am I not as fast?”
“I feel so slow, I almost bonked on a run that wasn’t even that long.”
Silly, self-centered and ableist thoughts caused me to retreat into myself and be sad. That’s it really, I was just sad.
Jealousy really sucks.
I felt the feelings all day, but my mom was with me all day keeping my mind occupied. I didn’t sleep that well, but woke up feeling a bit better.
New thoughts surfaced that morning:
“I love ultra training and am happy doing this.”
“I am only in my third week of training, I will get better.”
“At the end of the day, I run because it makes me happy, not because I am better than someone else.”
“I am really happy for this person!”
I didn’t feel like I forced these things, but reminded myself that this is the truth.
I also hit my workout that morning, which made me really happy 🙂
The rest of the week went smoothly, although I was a bit
scared curious about two 18 mile runs, I took each day at a time. I had no fitness issues, just a few other things I am sorting out and have already begun to get better.
This week my mileage is cut in half and I’ll recover for the next segment.
See you out there!