Doing my best, my vegan best

I was sitting at Waffle Frolic, about to eat my eggs Florentine waffle. I cut into the egg yolk, and I felt kind of sick. I started eating, and wondered what I was doing. My b12 levels are normal again. I still care for animals. Why am I eating this?

This was the culmination of what has been on my mind both during the day and in dreams at night. The pull, the remembrance, the feeling that I need to start doing the right thing.

What was stopping me? The ease. The convenience. How I didn’t have to think much. I never ate meat, but dairy is in everything. It’s so easy to just not care. Shrug my shoulders and say oh well, the universe is cyclical and I’m not killing anything directly.

My family does not accept it. My sister, who is my best friend, said she does not support me being vegan because it’s hard and a pain to spend time with me when they have to wonder what I can eat. I get it. When you don’t make the connection, which they don’t, they think humans are supposed to eat animals. That God put animals on earth for this purpose. I don’t believe that, but I cannot change their beliefs. They think I’m just being a difficult hippie. I also understand that I had a problem with food in high school. They thought that vegan was another one of those. They know I’m fine now, but still do not think highly of not eating certain foods for whatever reason.

Those are the obstacles that have been on my mind the past few weeks as I ponder trying to be vegan again. Why am I doing it?

Quite simply, I believe it is wrong to kill and hurt animals.

That’s my reason.

They won’t understand, so I will be ready for it.

I’m ready to try again. I want to be vegan again. Accept I cannot call myself as such, because, I will not be strict when I am with my family. These occasions are infrequent where I eat with them, and when I do, they get I don’t eat meat and milk. However I cannot be the strict lane reading vegan with them. Our relationship has come too far to do that. Maybe one day they will understand, but they are not ready.

So, I am two days strong being vegan. I will be vegan when I have control and choice. When it comes to family, I will do my best.

Breakfast: chocolate chip bagel with PB

Running: REST

Time to get SQUISHY!

This morning I completed my last fitness building workout before my next race. I know my body is ready to taper and then race. Sure, I love the grind of training, but I know it’s not sustainable long term. I build up to an event, I race the event, then I take a period of downtime. My body is telling me I’m reaching the point where if I continue to train in this way, I’ll break down.

Time to get SQUISHY!

Yesterday I was offered another job. Why do I have such a hard time saying no? I actually had my friend tell me this was a bad idea and now ay do I have the time for it. Just because a business needs help, does not mean it has to come from me. I love my current jobs, and do not want to change them. I have enough time to run and do some fun things. I am content. This business will find people who will work for them. I do not need to.

My apple has a butt!

Breakfast: oatmeal with sunflower butter, apple and coffee

Running: 70 minutes

NPR, Texas and I OWN MY CAR!

My coworker and I have started to narrate our night shifts at CTB like an NPR news story. It’s quite entertaining for us. Customers are a lot like animals! They have patterns, habits, quirks and things that just make us wonder. Anyway, this gets us through the last two hours of the shift that can be rather boring.

Today I took a rest day from running. It was needed as we’re getting close to race time. I can really only screw myself over at this point. I’m excited to get back out there!

I’ve started editing the Valentine’s Day videos and photos for Agava and I am so happy with all the content I got. I think I can make some great videos for us. Check out our FB, IG and Twitter if you’re interested.

My sister and I really need to start planning our trip to Texas. Even though we’ve got a few months, I want to hit the good spots. We’re driving, so many stops will be happening. I can’t wait to go!

Busy weekend ahead of me, but I’m content. I paid off my car this week, so I officially own her! It’s been a couple year process, but one loan down, two more to go! At least I don’t have interest to pay anymore. I don’t need to remember to send checks to a random bank every month. Do you know that in the 4 years I’ve been paying this loan, the bank has NEVER contacted me? Not once. This is weird…they said they had a bad address…but I lived at my apartment when I first got the car for a year and never got anything. Oh well, it’s over, the account is closed, I’m 4 grand poorer, but this was important to me. I’ve also got my tax return coming back at any time now so I’ll have a nice cushion once again soon.

Breakfast: oatmeal with peanut butter, banana and an apple

Running: REST

Pelvis, eggs and vegan

I’m typing this blog post with my new iPad case! I decided to invest in a better keyboard and harder shell case than I previously had because, well, I have a job that necessitates this iPad. I do all my video editing and some of my photo editing and writing on here, so I think the investment to protect it is worth it. I also enjoy the angle I get when typing a lot more now. It is easier to read and not strain my neck as much.

Last night I was so sore in my pelvis! It was so weird sleeping, I wasn’t sure how it would affect my run this morning, but largely I was fine. Fingers crossed. I have had this pain before and I believe it is due to sleeping position, so I’ll see if moving my cushions around a bit and being more comfortable helps.

Thoughts and prayers. Lol.

I have not been watching the Olympics, but I must give my two cents on Shawn White. I’m glad he won for the U.S. but he is an asshole. That has been my opinion of him for a few years. That’s all I have to say. Congrats on being a champion, but you are still an ass.

Last night I had the opportunity to do some filming at Agava’s Valentine’s Night dinner. Man oh man that was fun! Not so much for them, the workers and chef were a bit stressed…but I loved the energy. It was really neat and I’m anxious to look at my footage and get some great content out there.

I went to Waffle Frolic for lunch yesterday and tried the Eggs Florentine waffle. It was pretty good, but I must admit this, I have been considering going vegan again, and the eggs made me a bit queasy. I thought I wanted them, and they were cooked perfectly…but my vegan brain is making me reconsider my choices.

My sister and I were talking about this, and she is not an advocate for being vegan. She thinks it only limits me and since we are going to Texas, it will not help us have a good time. She has a point and I don’t think I will ever label myself as vegan again. However, I have to be conscious with most of my choices. I will not make vegan a limiting factor in my life. I know my choices have consequences, but being vegan is not something I can pursue at this point. I see too much waste at my job and I don’t want to obsess about ingredients.

The reaction I had at Waffle Frolic has made me aware of the choices I can make, and I want to be more vegan when I have control. I can only do my best. And at this point, it is what it is.

Breakfast: Oatmeal with banana and sunflower butter, apple and coffee

Running: 45 minutes

Gurgling tummy and my vitamins

Oh baby my stomach is gurgling today. We’re talking cramps during my run and just LOUD sounds coming out of there. That’s what I get for eating too much past the sell-by date food. When will I learn? The culprit: “wild and nutty rice”. A double whammy for me, being both fibrous and whole grain and probably past its prime.

I had this discussion with my coach yesterday. He doesn’t tell me what to eat. He’s vegan, but we don’t really discuss food as long as I’m getting enough, which I am. Yesterday we just candidly talked about what works for us. When I am intensely training, I shift my diet toward simpler carbohydrate based foods and fruits, rather than fibrous, higher vitamin and mineral based ones. I do this because I need my four meals to be digested quickly, and used for energy. The fiber stays in my system too long and also causes me to poop a lot. Like today.

I predicted yesterday that the rice was going to make my gut work harder. My guy told me today, throughout my whole run. The fact that the food was old probably didn’t help. So here is the conundrum we athletes face, less fiber, less vitamins and minerals, not as healthy right?

Well, yes. This is why in addition to consuming enough calories (which will give you enough protein and fat) I also take vitamins. This is what works for me. I eat simple foods, whiter breads and pastas, bananas instead of blueberries (usually) and nut butters over seeds. I take a multivitamin, b12, calcium-magnesium-D3 and iron. I do this to make sure I’m getting all the things to recover, while keeping excess fiber and veggies out of my diet.

It’s crunch time, I am starting the taper soon. I can’t mess shit up now. I got through my gurgling tempo run and it was kind of painful and awkward. My legs handled the pace well, but I don’t want my gut to go through that on race day.

Breakfast: oatmeal with PB and banana, apple and coffee

Running: 70 minutes