That escalated quickly

This is the worst.

Last night, I got food poisoning. Yup. I’m serious. I went out for lunch with my friend, got to work and already started to feel weird. It proceeded to get weirded till 6PM when I was sitting on a bucket in the corner holding my stomach crying.

I was sent home and promptly had the worst night of my life. Stomach pain, headache, chills. Everything was awful. I woke up optimistic but quickly got a bit worse this morning. I called a few people asking what I should do. Driving seemed impossible. Even getting up was akin to climbing Everest.

I’m not going anywhere.

I finally got Gatorade. I tried to eat some bananas a few hours ago and it didn’t go well. Even if I felt at 100% I haven’t been eating so I feel weak in the limbs.

I’m so upset. This was supposed to be my first race. I was ready. Now, I’m not.

This race has alluded me a second year. Maybe that’s a sign I shouldn’t do it.

Whatever, I’m going back to bed.

Breakfast: LOL

Running: LOL

No matter the outcome, I will respect my body

No matter what happens this weekend, I will still love myself, love my body and treat myself kindly. In the past, I have tied my self worth to the things I accomplish. We all have haven’t we? It’s an easy thing to do. I’ve worked hard for a few months, I give up things, I try to do things by the book. I want my body to perform well damn it.

I trust it to work hard and do that on the day. Whatever that means, I will respect what my body does. I will try as hard as I can. I will give myself permission to succeed and grace to fail.

When I finish the race, I will still love and respect my body. If I DNF, if I finish slowly, if I do something less than I believe I am capable of, my body, my mind and my heart will still be worth respect.

I cannot claim to love my body all the time. But I will treat it with Unconditional Respect , a concept I read about this morning from Gena Hanshaw’s blog Choosing Raw. I may be upset at how I performed, but that does not mean I will withhold nourishment, rest or fun things afterwards. To be honest, many times I, and many other runners, have failed, it is due to the mental game. And my mind has no weight, no shape and no looks. My mind is internal, affected by nothing but my own thoughts, intentions and motivations.

If my mind is the limiter, there is NOTHING I can gain by withholding basic elements my body needs like food, rests, relaxation or time off. It is not my physical body’s fault I may not live up to potential, so I will not disrespect it.

Breakfast: oatmeal with banana and sunflower butter

Running: 22 minutes

I get to watch a WR attempt!

I found out yesterday that one of my running heroes, Camille Herron will be at the race on Sunday! She is going for the 50k world record! Isn’t that amazing! I hope she does it and also I’m happy to be there to see it. My coach also wants me to learn from her. To see her as she is, and take away something from her that I can practice.

Hopefully she can teach me how to enjoy beer because…

I’m trying to find a good way to bring my phone with me on runs to take pictures. I’ve been advised to get a Nathan Hipster, which looks cool…or I’m thinking to just carry a pack with me both for practice and to carry stuff. The Vapor Howe pack looks cool as does the Saloman S-Labs packs. I’ll see how the weekend goes and reassess afterwards.

Yesterday I almost joined a dating website. LOL. Wut. Then I looked around at my van and realized I was already committed. Maybe some day…

My toes have been killing me lately. Today finally they started to feel better. I’ve been going more barefoot and using my correct toes which has been helping. I’m also switching to Altra and Saucony shoes with wider toe boxes from now on. Seems like a good decision.

I love Ithaca Hummus so much. I’m totally not a spicy person, but I’ve been enjoying their smoked chipotle hummus on my sandwiches this week and I’m impressed. As long as I also have some tofutti on it as well to buffer the flame, it’s been working out.

Breakfast: oatmeal with banana and sunflower butter and an apple

Running: REST

Rice cakes and pessimism

I’ve been into rice cakes lately.

Ok, that’s a lie. I was given a bunch of past the sell-by date rice cakes and because I don’t want to throw anything away that is vegan, I’ve been finding creative ways to eat them. Sometimes I dip them in soup, but that’s kind of weird with the caramel ones no? Last night I improvised and made a bedtime snack of a rice cake, peanut butter and half a chocolate bar. It was a great idea!

Then today at work I made a peanut butter sandwich on two rice cakes, which was a nice little snack towards the end of the shift. I need to drink something with them though, because I sort of choke if I don’t…which I did the first few times I started eating them.

I was thinking today about my goals for this race. Of course my coach and I discussed this last week over dinner…but when I really get down to it, I will be happy if I tried my best and finish strong. I had a successful training cycle with no injuries. Outside of the pain in my butt from over striding, I avoided any overtraining and feel pretty good right now. The tapering is working as long as I allow myself as much sleep as I need. I have been trying to get into bed at 7:30PM each night just to relax and listen to a podcast. Usually I turn off the podcast and fall asleep.

I’ve been drinking more water, eating enough and just not letting anything stress me out. To be honest, I am excited to travel to the race and hopefully meet some new runners. That is enough. Whatever happens down there, I am good enough.

My parents are redoing their kitchen, so my mom sends me pictures asking me what I think…and if they need more counter space etc. I’m like…no it looks terrible because everything is ripped out. Please don’t leave it like that hahaha (joking). I am the worst person to ask about space because I have none (by choice) so anything would be enough. If she wants it and they think it will add value to their life, then go for it. More space wouldn’t add much to mine, so my opinion is obsolete.

I think she wants me to feel like I’m somehow involved, which is kind. So I do my best to give her opinions. I think she’s excited for the renovations. I know my dad thinks she is, and that’s enough for me.

My coworker and I were discussing a different coworker and his negativity. It wasn’t what you’re thinking, we weren’t bashing him, just talking out loud. He (the coworker we we talking about) believes he is a realist. He sees the world for how it is. I am totally an optimist. I get that. However, my coworker is definitely a pessimist. He doesn’t see the world for how it is, because there is tons of good in the world and he sees all that is bad. For example, instead of seeing the garbage he has to change as half empty and lucky that it isn’t a broken bag, he sees it as stupid that he had to do anything at all. That is a bad example, but he is just a cup-half-empty person, but believes he’s a realist.

I know I am a cup-half-full person and choose to believe more optimistically than is reality. I get it. We, (the coworker with whom I was discussing this with) do not understand how he thinks he is a realist, when clearly he is a pessimist.

Thoughts?

Breakfast: oatmeal with banana and sunflower butter and an apple

Running: 54 minutes

Sleep, Vegan Meetup and Ellie Eats Ithaca

I’m getting excited to go down to the city on Saturday. It’ll be such a fun trip and new place to see. I’m planning to stop at Tamerlaine Farm on the way past Scranton to visit with my friends Peter and Gabrielle and pick up a hat to wear at the race. They run an animal sanctuary which, after the original Farm Sanctuary, is the only one I’ve been to.

Yesterday I watched a bunch of Vegan Zombie cooking YouTube videos. I’m trying to get some ideas for easy things to add to the menu at Agava. I’m thinking a tofu scramble breakfast burrito. That’d be epic!

This morning I had an 8 Mile run with 4 in the middle at race pace. It went fine, but I’m still tired. I’ve been catching up on sleep and am feeling more rested, but the time is now. No excuses.

I joined the Ithaca Vegan Meetup last night. I just want to meet some more vegans. Hopefully some my age…and male hahahha

Some people have asked if my Ellie Eats Ithaca tour is coming to an end because I went back to being vegan. I had thought about it, because I really want to support the vegan businesses here. I plan to frequent those much more. However, I am still wanting to try new restaurants, and I’m sure I can find vegan options wherever I go. So the tour lives on, it’s just different.

Breakfast: banana, chocolate granola and sunflower butter

Running: 60 minutes