A Line in the Sand

I’m not sure how to follow up my last post. I knew what I was in for regarding how I felt and what I chose to do. I know I am letting people down. I know others feel I can remain vegan and fix myself.

Maybe that is true. I don’t know.

I am feeling better lately, that being due to the massive doses of B12 I am taking, eating more in general, not feeling as stressed or including eggs and a bit of dairy, I am unsure what the reasoning is.

Thankfully, even my vegan friends have been, well, not mean I guess is a way to say it. They are sad, rightly so. They feel I have not done my due diligence in being a vegan athlete. Rightly so. Although I got myself here accidentally, an accident is still my fault.

One thing that one close friend said to me struck a chord. It drew a line in the sand for me and I feel as though I must express those feelings.

They said that if they had to sacrifice running or being an athlete to remain vegan, they would do so in a heart beat.

How honorable a thing. I do not say this lightly that I admire that.

For myself, I do not feel the same. If I was unable to pursue my passions and hobbies because being vegan made me sick or unable, I would not be vegan. I choose my health over being vegan. That is my line in the sand. I am not ashamed of that, nor do I look down on others who take the opposite approach.

If that means I was never a true vegan, that is what it is, however by choosing that lifestyle for over 4 years, I saved many animal lives and I am happy for that. That matters.

That said, I still believe, and this athlete proves true, one can be vegan and a high performing athlete. It is tricky and takes more planning than I gave it, but it can be done. I also say that being vegan is a very compassionate and desirable way to live. There is some validity to the fact that you cannot be pro-environment and at least mostly plant-based. A vegan diet is very healthy when done appropriately.

However, I stand by my decision in my last post. I am not vegan right now, no matter how uncomfortable emotionally that makes me feel. Thank you to those who have reached out, from both sides of the issue.


6 thoughts on “A Line in the Sand”

  1. This is beautifully written. I love the analogy, and, for what it’s worth, I think you are amazing for sharing your struggles and decisions publicly. I also happen to agree with your decision — you have to do what is right for your mind and your body.

    From Danielle, a former vegan athlete.

  2. The fact that this change is sincerely very difficult for you proves your passion and dedication to all you’ve done, and all you want to do, for the environment and the vegan community. I’m really sorry you are feeling this emotional turmoil. It must be really hard. And not made any easier when you have such a vegan community around you. I hope you – and I know you will – continue to keep your own feet under you and, whatever anyone else may say, remember your own “why.” I’m personally very happy you are choosing your health above anything. And my image of you being an extremely passionate environmentalist has not even slightly altered.

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