I have these moments where I think about next week, and wonder where I’ll end up. Seriously I have an outline of a plan, but I don’t really have much set in stone. I figure I’ll park on the street somewhere and hope it doesn’t get too cold. The past three nights I’ve been fine sleeping (actually last night I was so hot, I took off layers) and I’m not in my van too much otherwise. I ate breakfast in the cold this morning. It was fine.
I’ve bought some battery powered lights, which I will install on Sunday. I have tested out my solar panels and they should give me enough power to make hot water if I need it. I would like more sun, but what can I do?
I think a lot about next year and where I want to be. Right now my focus is paying off my last two loans and being debt free. I work hard and try not to spend lavishly (I have put off getting a new watch and shoes even though I should get them) so I hope this goal will materialize soon. After I have no debts, I plan to build my nest egg for emergencies, but more into retirement, then, work less.
Yup. Me. The woman with three jobs. Work less.
Why? Honestly, I have these aspirations to travel and explore with my feet, but really, I just want time to not do anything that makes me money. Crazy right? If it makes me money, it’s a job, and therefore something I am obligated to do. It may be enjoyable, but it’s not intrinsic anymore. I don’t do it for it’s own sake.
This is why I have chosen not to work with sponsors right now. Running is something I do for it’s own sake. It fills me in a way completely separate from money, accolades or whatever. It is my hobby, something I would do if I could do anything. When I get things for running, some of that joy is turned into job. That’s not something I want to be responsible for right now.
It’s the same thing with social media. I enjoy the interaction and the fun I have putting myself out there, however I choose not to offer anything other than my own experience. When people email or DM me asking questions I always start with “In my experience…” because no other people is the same as me. These things, running, social media etc, especially if it’s personal, can seem like a job. Like there is some standard to meet.
Really, people don’t care. I don’t care. I want to do well in running because it fills me. I like trying to do my best. I curate a professional social media account for a restaurant, I get paid for that and therefore will do it well. My own personal account is not polished and I don’t often take the time to edit those photos. That is like a photo album scrapbook, it’s something I do for it’s own sake. For fun. If I feel pressure, I don’t do it as much.
Circling back, I plan to become more financially stable and travel more simply because I enjoy not having responsibilities. I enjoy taking the day and not having to make money. I have enjoyed my first few Sunday’s off because I truly do not work on those days. I don’t check Agava’s social media nor do I check in at my other jobs. I have spent them with friends and family running and eating. Doing what I love, in new places.
Next fall or winter, I don’t know where I’ll be, but living in my van, paying things off and doing hard things now will hopefully make next winter easier. Either I learn how to get comfortable being cold and stick it out here in Ithaca, or I leave and use the slow of the colder months to train, have down time and live how I want.
Breakfast: peanut butter oatmeal with banana and more peanut butter
Running: 45 minutes